Every intimate relationship carries within it the hope of being truly known by another person. Yet the very closeness that draws us to a partner can also expose old wounds, unspoken expectations, and patterns of relating that were set in motion long before the relationship began. When these patterns collide, as they inevitably do, couples often find themselves locked in cycles of conflict, withdrawal, or quiet disconnection that can feel impossible to break.

Couples therapy offers a space to understand what is really happening between you. Not simply to resolve arguments, but to explore the deeper relational dynamics that underpin them: the attachment needs, the childhood experiences, the cultural scripts about love and gender and commitment that each partner brings into the room. My work with couples is grounded in the belief that relationships are not merely the backdrop to individual wellbeing; they are the primary site where healing and growth take place.

Why Couples Therapy Matters?

Most of us were never taught how to be in a relationship. We absorbed lessons about love from our families, our culture, and the wider society, lessons that were often contradictory, incomplete, or shaped by dynamics we didn’t fully understand at the time. Our early experiences of being cared for (or not), of having our emotional needs met (or not), become the unconscious templates we carry into adulthood. As Harville Hendrix observed in his influential work on Imago Relationship Therapy, we are often drawn to partners who are psychologically “familiar”, not because they are easy to be with, but because they activate the unfinished emotional business of our childhoods.

This is not a flaw. It is the relational mind seeking wholeness. The frustrations, ruptures, and power struggles that emerge in intimate relationships are not signs of failure but invitations to understand ourselves and each other more deeply. Couples therapy provides the structured, safe, and compassionate space to accept that invitation.

My Approach to Working with Couples

I work integratively, which means that while my foundation is relational psychodynamic, I draw on other approaches, including schema therapy and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), when they serve your therapeutic journey. My style is active and engaged. I share my observations, ask questions that open things up, and think through what is emerging alongside you, rather than remaining silent. Many clients tell me this matters to them, and I believe that genuine therapeutic change happens through connection, not observation.

At the heart of my couples work is a relational psychodynamic approach. This means paying close attention to the unconscious dynamics playing out between partners: the projections, the transferences, the ways in which each person’s internal world shapes how they experience the other. Drawing on attachment theory and the insights of Imago Relationship Therapy, I help couples to recognise how their early relational experiences, with parents, caregivers, and the wider social world, continue to influence how they communicate, manage conflict, and seek (or avoid) intimacy. Hendrix’s concept of the “Imago”, the unconscious image of familiar love that we carry from childhood, is a powerful lens through which to understand why we choose the partners we do, and why certain conflicts feel so charged. In sessions, I work with couples to move beyond blame and reactivity towards genuine curiosity about each other’s inner worlds. Through structured dialogue, mirroring, and empathic engagement, partners begin to understand not just what the other is saying, but why it matters so deeply.

Schema therapy deepens this work further, making visible the emotional patterns, or “schemas”, that each partner developed in response to unmet childhood needs. When one partner’s abandonment schema collides with the other’s emotional deprivation schema, for instance, the result is often a painful and self-reinforcing cycle of pursuing and withdrawing that neither partner consciously chooses or understands. I help partners to identify their own schemas and coping modes, to understand how these interact with their partner’s, and to develop healthier, more flexible ways of responding when these patterns are triggered.

Alongside this, I support couples to develop the psychological flexibility to be present with difficult emotions, to step back from unhelpful thought patterns, and to act in ways that align with what truly matters to them in the relationship.

Culture, Society, and How We Love

Relationships do not exist in a vacuum. How we attach, communicate, and navigate intimacy is profoundly shaped by our upbringing, our cultural background, and the societal expectations we have internalised about what love should look like. Gender norms, family scripts, cultural attitudes towards emotional expression, and broader social structures all play a role in shaping relational dynamics.

I bring an awareness of these wider contexts into the therapy room. For some couples, this means exploring how inherited cultural expectations about roles, duty, or emotional restraint are creating friction. For others, it may involve examining how experiences of discrimination, marginalisation, or minority stress are placing additional pressure on the relationship. I am committed to working with couples in a way that honours the full complexity of their social and cultural worlds, and that recognises how structural inequalities can shape intimate life.

Who I Work With

I welcome couples of all backgrounds, orientations, and relationship configurations. My practice is affirming and inclusive, and I have particular expertise in working with LGBTQIA+ couples, including those navigating the specific relational dynamics that can arise within queer, trans, and non-binary partnerships. Whether you are a newly committed couple, a long-established partnership, or somewhere in between, I offer a space that is genuinely free from assumption and judgement.

What Couples Therapy Can Help With?

•       Communication breakdown: feeling unheard, misunderstood, or unable to express your needs

•       Recurring arguments and cycles of conflict that never seem to resolve

•       Emotional distance, withdrawal, or a growing sense of disconnection

•       Trust difficulties, including the aftermath of infidelity or betrayal

•       Navigating major life transitions together, such as moving in, parenthood, career changes, or loss

•       Sexual and intimacy difficulties, including mismatched desire or avoidance

•       The impact of past trauma on present relating

•       Cultural, family, or intergenerational pressures on the relationship

•       Relationship difficulties specific to LGBTQIA+ experience, including minority stress and identity-related tensions

•       Considering whether to stay in or leave a relationship

Practical Information

If you are considering couples therapy and would like to find out more, please do not hesitate to get in touch through the appointments page. We can arrange an initial consultation to explore what brings you to therapy. We can discuss how I work, and determine whether we are a good fit for one another.